The Life and Times of Merle Dixon
by SlayingDead
Summary: Snapshots into the life and childhood of Merle Dixon. Warning: Contains child abuse.


**AN: Wow I'm actually writing again! So these are snapshots in the life of my favorite walking dead character Merle Dixon. Some will have Daryl in them others will not.**

**Warning! There is child abuse and death mentioned in this story also cursing so if you don't like it don't read!**

**Age five:**

Merle Dixon sat on the wooden floor of his tiny room playing with the two toys he had, four blocks and a toy car. He built up the blocks then smashed the car into the tower enjoying how they tumbled to the ground as most five year old boys did. As he smashed the rusty toy car into the tower there was a corresponding crash from downstairs followed by his mother crying and his father yelling obscenities. Merle has learned from experience that it was better to stay in his room and ignore the sounds then to try and intervene. he half heatedly played flinching at the slaps and bangs from downstairs occasionally. He then began to hear the heavy footfalls of his father heading up the stairs to his room, his mothers muffled yelling for him to stop in the background. Merle dropped his toys and stood by his bed knowing there was no escape to be made, Will Dixon then busted through the door quickly striding up to his son grabbing Merle's shirt and slamming his small body into the wall.

"Now you listen here and listen good, you are gonna start being useful around here or there is no reason to keep your worthless ass around" His father's words were slurred and Merle could smell the whisky on his breath. Will gave him a sharp slap to the face. "You here me boy?!" his mother showed up in the doorway crying looking worse for wear.

"Will stop it!"

"You shut up tramp!" he turned his attention back to his son. "When I come home I expect the house to be ready for me got it?!" he roughly let go of Merle's shit letting the five year old fall to the ground. Will grabbed the car and blocks throwing them against the wall. "I want this shit gone, its time you get your ass in gear and be man." He kicked his son in the gut which made Merle curl into a ball and let small tears fall down his face. Will bent down to his son's level. "You stop that crying, Dixon men don't cry. Now get up and go make me dinner because it seems your mama cant do shit." He stomped out of the room leaving his wife and son alone. Anna walked over to her son helping him up an checking over his bloody lip wiping the blood off with the sleeve of her old shirt.

"You'll be fine." She said quietly. "No go to as your daddy says." Merle nodded and left.

**Age 11:**

Merle sat in a chair in the hospital's waiting room kicking his legs idly bored as all hell. He didn't understand why he had to be here. people came and went, most staring at the 11 year old wondering what he was doing there alone. After what seemed like forever Will came into the room and just nodded his head to Merle, silently telling his son to follow. The two Dixon's walked in silence down the white halls of the hospital till they reached a room and went inside. Anna Dixon laid on the bed looking awful but she was smiling, In her arms was what looked like just a ball of blankets. Merle shoved his hands in his pockets walking to her bedside.

"Hi mama." he mumbled. Anna smiled at him running her free hand down his arm. She pulled back the blankets to show him what she was holding. The baby's eyes were clenched closed and it squirmed making weird sounds.

"This is your baby brother, Daryl." Anna said in that soft voice she had. Merle looked at the baby and didn't get what all the fuss was about, weren't babies supposed to be cute? This thing looked more like an alien to Merle. The white hat on it's head barley fit because it was so tiny. Merle's eyes shifted to his father who was sitting in a chair of the other side of the bed off in his own little world. He then looked at his brother again, how was this tiny thing going to protect itself from their dad's fists? It can't even sit up on its own.

"Merle?" his mom called to him making him look up at her. "Do you wanna hold him?" she asked hopefully. In all honesty no, he didn't want to but he knew it would make his mama happy so he nodded. Anna sat up a bit and placed the bundle in his arms.

"Don't you be droppen' him. Don't need two retarded sons." He heard his father speak up for the first time that day. Merle chose to ignore the comment and focused on putting his small arms in the same position his mama's were moments ago. Daryl then opened his blue eyes for the first time, looking up at his big brother in wonder. He raised his tiny fists in the air waving them looking around the room.

"You're his big brother Merle, you gotta take good care of him and protect him." His mother said. Merle's first thought was- why was it his job to protect and care for Daryl? He didn't ask to be a big brother, Daryl wasn't his. Merle looked to his mother who was smiling then to his scowling father. He then realized if he didn't Will would get to the baby and do the exact same thing to Daryl as he does to Merle.

And he was damned it he was going to let that happen.

**Age 13:**

Daryl was a relatively good baby, he learned real quick that crying got him nothing so he didn't do much of it. But now at two he started to realize what was going on in the Dixon household was not normal. The kids he watched from the window played outside and didn't have the cuts and bruises Merle sported on a daily basis. The women were out happily talking to each other and gardening while mama sat on the couch smoking and drinking her worries away. Daryl sat in his and Merle's room listening to Merle getting what sounded like a particularly bad beating. He didn't understand why daddy hurt Merle and mama so much especially when they didn't do anything. He heard Merle come up the stairs and Daryl shut his eyes pretending to be asleep on his beat up mattress on the ground. Daryl listened to his brother shuffle around the room and he cracked an eye open to see Merle standing in front of there cracked mirror examining the gashes their daddy's belt left on his back.

Merle sighed looking at the welts knowing they would take at least a week to heal. His old man was being a jackass to his mama again, callen' her names and hitting her so Merle decided to step in. He was thirteen now, it was time that he protected his mom along with Daryl and be a man. He was just lucky their dad still deemed Daryl too young for a beating. He saw Daryl peaking out from under the covers of his bed staring at him in the mirror.

"Told you to go to sleep a while ago." Merle said as he went to there closet to see if he had anything useful in the first aid kit he hid there.

"Daddy was bein real loud, couldn't sleep." His brother said only getting a grunt from Merle in response. He heard the two year old get out of bed and walk up next to him just staring waiting for something. Merle found half a bottle of rubbing alcohol and an old rag and walked to the mirror. He pored the liquid on the rag and reached around to his back touching the rag to his gashes, hissing in pain at the sting. He looked in the mirror and saw Daryl still standing there looking at him in his footie pajamas that were once Merle's.

"What?" He grunted out cleaning his cuts.

"Why does daddy hurt cha and mama?" There is was, the question Merle knew had been coming for weeks now. He sighed and looked at his back figuring it was as clean as it was gonna get for now. He dropped the rag and looked at his baby brother.

"Your hairs getting long, starten to look like a girl. I'll cut it tomorrow." And with that Merle went and laid down on his stomach on his mattress and shut off the light. He was in too much pain and too tired to tell Daryl to scat to his own bed when the two year old came and snuggled up next to him.

**Age 16:**

When most people thought of Georgia they think hot, but the winters could be just as brutal as the summers. Merle laid shivering on his mattress curled up under his thin blanket, he had given the thinker one to Daryl. The sun was starting to rise and Merle sat up rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. he got up and went through his morning routine. When he was done he was surprised to see that his little brother was still asleep, usually the five year old would be up and annoying him by now.

"Daryl get up, we are goen hunten today." He had promised a couple days before that he would take Daryl on his Saturday morning hunting trip this week, as long as he didn't scare away the prey. Daryl groaned and curled under the covers more and Merle kicked the bed. "Come on now."

"Mer- don feel good." mumbled the child. Merle bent down and pulled the covers off Daryl's head.

"Whats wrong with cha?" he asked just wanting to go already.

"My tummy hurts and I gots a headache." The five year old responded. Merle placed a hand on his forehead as he remembered their mama doing for him years ago and felt it burning up. Merle began to worry then, Daryl had never really been badly sick before, a cold here and there but no fevers. Daryl shivered looking up at Merle like he could make it all go away.

"Alright...um, just... wait here" He had no idea what to do, it wasn't like he could take Daryl to a doctor, they couldn't afford that. So he went to the bathroom looking for some medicine he could give him, not surprised when he found nothing. He came back to their room and found Daryl crying vomit around him.

"I'm sorry! it just happened? Am i gonna die?" Daryl asked in between cries.

"No you aint gonna die, you are just sick is all." Merle felt so bad for him he didn't even tell him to stop crying. He took the old blanket- now covered in Daryl's mess and threw it in the laundry pile. He then went to their closet and pulled out the warmest clothes they had, changing Daryl and cleaning him up. "If you feel sick again go to the bathroom." Daryl only nodded not crying anymore. Merle handed him his blanket and ordered him to sleep before going downstairs knowing his dad still wasn't back from last night. Their mama was sitting on the couch a Virginia slim in one hand and a bottle in the other.

"Daryl's sick ma." Merle said hoping for some help.

"Well what am I supposed to do about it? Kids get sick, not gonna last forever. He'll sleep it off." She said not even looking away from the TV. Merle knew that was all he was gonna get from her when she was in a mood like this so he went back upstairs. Daryl was throwing up in the toilet and Merle sat beside him till he stopped.

"I don't like this Merle." He said sounding pathetic.

"Come on now, your a Dixon, you can get though way worse then the flu." or at least that's what Merle hopped he had. "Get back to bed." Daryl did so and Merle went to his parents room and grabbed the warm blanket going back to his own room. Daryl sat in his bed staring at the wall and Merle couldn't believe he was thinking this but he actually preferred the annoying energetic Daryl over sick Daryl. He wrapped the blanket around his brother who stayed silent. He then grabbed a rag and went to the bathroom running cold water on it and then placed it on Daryl's head- he remember seeing that in a movie once. Merle put on his hunting jack then that was hanging in their closet.

"Gonna go hunting now." He told his little brother who pouted.

"No! Please stay Merle." He began to tear up making Merle sigh and shrug off his jacket, hopefully his dad wouldn't notice there was no fresh meat in the house, he barley ate at home anyway.

"Alright but enough with that crying shit." Daryl smiled and curled into the blankets the rag looking slightly funny on his head. Merle grabbed a book from the shelf and sat on Daryl's mattress his back against the floor and began to read out loud entertaining himself and his sick brother.

**Age 19:**

Probably the worst thing about prison was the food, it was shit and they never gave you enough of it, Merle thought as he sat in the mess hall eating with some of his prison friends. Well not really friends, more like gang, you needed people to have your back in a place like this especially if you are as young as Merle is. He actually wouldn't mind punching some of these guys teeth out. Believe it or not in jail Merle was the quiet one, listening as the gang talked about another gang and some guards. He was currently doing four moths for possession, it was his second time in regular jail, though he had done several stints in juvie. A guard came up and grabbed his shoulder.

"You got a visitor Dixon." This surprised Merle, he never got any visitors- only phone calls from Daryl sometimes. He followed the guards to one of the private visiting rooms, when he entered he saw Daryl sitting there across the table looking at his feet, a blank stare on his face. A woman sat next to him in a suit he arm over the back of his chair not touching him because he obviously didn't want to be touched. The eight year old looked up at his brother not saying anything. Merle walked in and a guard stayed in while the other left shutting the door.

"Who the hell are you?" Merle asked the women who gave him a small smile.

"My name is Linda, I'm a social worker for the state of Georgia." Her voice was soft and sweet and it made Merle feel like she was patronizing him.

"Okay Lina, what are you doing here?" he asked folding his arms.

"Merle, you may want to sit down and relax for a bit, why don't we-" Linda was cut off by Daryl.

"Mama's dead." He said softly looking at his brother sadly. Merle looked at Daryl and knew he was serious. He just stood there for a while unsure what to do or say.

"How?" was the first thing that came out of his mouth.

"We presume she had been drinking and smoking in bed. She must have passed out with the cigarette still lit and a fire started." Linda answered. Merle wanted to say that he wasn't asking her but decided against it.

"You okay?" Merle asked his brother who nodded.

"Was outside playing." Merle pursed his lips and put his hand on his hips and began to pace. He should have been there. Maybe if he was home he could have realized the fire before it got to big, or got her out, or put it out or- his thoughts were cut off by Linda.

"Your father is missing so until we can contact him Daryl will be staying with me." Merle looked at her almost angry. What right did she have coming into their lives and taking over.

"Can I be alone with Daryl?" He asked and she stood leaving the room telling them she would be right outside. The guard stayed but that didn't matter. Merle walked over to where Daryl sat and bent down next to his chair.

"You alright?" he asked again. Daryl looked at him confused.

"I already told you I was outside."

"I don't mean like that." Merle said giving his brother a hard look. Daryl looked down at his shoes again and took deep breaths.

"She's gone Merle... She's just gone." Daryl said beginning to cry for the first time since he found it his mother was dead. Merle wasn't one for hugs and kissed but he pulled Daryl into him as the eight year old began to cry harder holding onto his shirt. "She's just gone..." he kept mumbling into his big brother's chest. Merle just held him tight looking at the wall, this lasted for a couple minutes till Daryl pulled away wiping his eyes. "Sorry." He said apologizing for crying, Merle ignored it though.

"I got another month left in here, you gonna be okay with just dad till I get back?" Daryl nodded and they both stood.

"Didn't tell that lady nothen." Daryl said, Merle always taught him to not to tell anyone what their daddy was doing to them in fear of getting split up and sent away to a different shit hole.

"Good. Go on now, I'll see you in a month." Daryl then left and Merle was lead back to his cell.

"Who did ya get Dixon?" his cell mate chuck asked.

"No one important." he responded going and laying on the top bunk. He laid there for a while just thinking about his mom, sure she wasnt the best mom but she did her best with the cards she was dealt and Merle would be lying if he said he wasn't going to miss her. The lights went out and Chuck fell asleep in the bunk under him and only then did Merle allow himself to cry.

* * *

**AN: So that's all i have for now! I hope you enjoyed! I do want to continue this and have several ideas for Merle's 20's I just need to find the time to write them down! Thanks for reading and please review!**

**~Tab**


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